It could be me

Today in the sun, I bid him farewell
A man, a hero, I never knew well
Like many before him, who answered the call
Wearing a badge, he was destined to fall

Though by choice a long life and happy old age
Would he have chosen, had he written this page
But the office he chose never promised long life
Just half of his salary, for his family and wife

He went without fear, in the darkness of night
Bringing comfort to some, to others a light
Easing their pain and calming their fears
He did his duty, never asking for cheers

A husband, a cop, he answered the call
We bid him farewell for he gave his all

author unknown

Today in Pearl, Mississippi, three police officers were shot while serving a warrant. Why they were serving it is not important. Today, two of those officers are in the hospital, while one has gone home to meet his maker. Michael Walter was an investigator for the Pearl police department. Prayers for his family, home and work, are going out as we speak.

As I watched events unfold on the news, I couldn't help but think, that could be me. No, I'm not in law enforcement, and I won't be serving any warrants, but with the job I have, it could have been me not going home to my family. I am in the EMS field along with firefighters and police officers. People don't often think of the "popo" when it comes to EMS, but I have rolled up on a scene to see a officer performing cpr, or holding pressure on a wound. They are part of my family.

Whether being an ambulance jockey, playing with hoses, or writing tickets, there isn't a single person in these fields who wake up thinking, today I'm going to die. Though, I am sure our family members worry about that every single time we clock in.

Do we think we are invincible? Do we think that we are bulletproof? Or is it, that if we think about it, it will affect the way we do our jobs? I'm not sure which category I fall into. I have never gone to work thinking about what could be the worst thing that could happen to me. Maybe it's because I am afraid to think about it.

I read everyday about an ambulance crash, or a firefighter being injured in a fire, or a police officer being killed. I've never personally known anyone to die in the line of duty. I hope I never do. What happened today keeps me thinking. What if??? What if something happens to me while I am on a call. Have I told my family what they mean to me? Have I shown them how much they have guided me? Have I been a good example to my children? Have I said "This is what I want if this happens"?

 There are so many questions with so few answers. Things keep spinning in my head. All I can do is wake up, put on my uniform, kiss my family good bye and be the best paramedic that I can.

I know some of my EMS friends will read this. I am wondering how many of you could have typed this same blog, with the same feelings?. I know I'm not alone with these thoughts tonight. I know I'm not the only one with these questions. I wonder if I'm not the only one who thinks, It Could Have Me? How do handle the thoughts that keep going through my head toni.....will have to think about this later, time to run another call.

Gabe